没品笑话集
没品笑话集：放假的时候我去洗土耳其浴
放假的时候我去洗土耳其浴。
他们会用锋利的剃刀帮你修理下颚线，修剪你的鼻毛和耳毛，然后再用蜜蜡帮你除胸毛，甚至把屁股缝里的毛都给拔的干干净净，最后再修剪一下胡须外加酒精消毒……
说真的，我老婆从未如此美丽动人过。
I went to one of those Turkish baths on holiday...
They shaved with razor-sharp blade below the neck line, snipped ear & nose hairs, waxed chest hairs & plucked all the bum crack hairs, finishing with a moustache trim & alcohol rub...
Honestly, the wife's never looked so good.---stemeister99
昨儿晚上，我那聋子女友在睡觉时候说梦话来着……
……差点没给我眼戳瞎！
My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night......she almost poked my eye out! ---jimmysidebottom
老婆在我们结婚50周年纪念日对我说。
“我真的希望你能像咱们结婚当天那样。”
“不可能了，”我说，“你那伴娘去年已经死了。”
My missus said to me on our 50th wedding anniversary,"I'd sure like you to do what you did on our wedding day. "
"I won't be able to, " I replied, "that bridesmaid died last year. "---oxfordtroll
据传埃尔温·薛定谔是个恋童癖。
我猜他整出来薛定谔的猫那一套就是为了怕有人发现盒子里的其实是个孩子。
Erwin Schrödinger was an alleged Paedophile.I bet he made up that cat box bullshit to stop someone looking in there and finding a kid.---weaverdog
绝对不要在下雨天穿喇叭裤出门。我穿着出去了，现在喇叭还响个不停。
Never go out for a walk in the rain in bell bottom trousers. I did and now they're ringing.---stickyagain
一部颇具争议的新小说描绘了一个黑人统治白人的世界。
小说的名字叫
《投保守党一票》。
A controversial new novel depicts a world where black people rule over white people.It's called,
Vote Conservative...--apollo17
获誉有重大突破的阿尔茨海默症特效药可能会让使用者的死亡风险增加2倍。
还真是双赢。
Alzheimer's drug, hailed as a breakthrough, could triple the risk of dying.Win-win.---ponga
我早就知道保守党很傻缺，但是我他妈真是没料到，一个尼日利亚姑娘给他们发邮件说只要让她当党首就能让他们变富有，他们竟然真信了。
I knew the tories were dumb but fuck me, they fell for an email from a Nigerian promising them riches if they made her leader. ---rejectdog
附赠一个谐音梗冷笑话：
What happens when you drink food colouring?
You dye a little on the inside.