那天晚上我去酒吧，遇见了我最爱的成人影星独自一人坐在最里面。

我简直不敢相信自己的眼睛，于是就跟酒保说：“再给我来一杯啤酒，你有看见坐在那里的妹子了吗？她不该来这儿的，她才13岁！”

I was in the pub the other night, I saw my favourite porn star of all time sitting at the end of the bar by herself.

I called the bar tender over as I couldn't believe it was her, I said " I'll have another beer and see that girl at the end of the bar, she shouldn't be here she's 13!
--rustymakesyoulaugh

假如你不小心进了同性恋酒吧，可千万别说“我艹”。
If you ever walk into a gay bar by mistake, take care not to exclaim 'Fuck me!' --niggerfarage

我在床上对待老婆就像对待披萨饼一样。

我可不吃“卷边儿”。
I treat my wife in the bedroom like I treat my pizza.

I never eat the crust.---wasp

人们说环卫工人大罢工很快就会让伯明翰变成第三世界国家。

我是不相信能有如此大的改善。
They say that these bin strikes could turn Birmingham into a third world country soon.

I'm not sure if things will improve that much. ---bosco

我对George Foreman的离世感到惋惜，他是独一无二的存在——

— 一位有工作的尼哥。
Got to feel sorry for George Foreman, he was one of a kind.

A nigger with a job.---garygas

饲养宠物让我的女儿理解了什么是衰老和死亡。

我家的罗威纳害死了她奶奶。
Having pets has made my daughter learn about old age and death.

My Rottweiler killed her granny.--stallion

刚在路上遇到一个死人，于是我就把他带回了家，放在了猫窝里。

我倒要看看它到底有多喜欢……
Just found a dead man in the street, so I have brought him in and put him on my cat's pillow.

Lets see how it fucking likes it...---theancient

窥一购物中心而知全貌。
Once you've seen one shopping centre.

You've seen the mall.---dylanio

你知道援助人员和恐怖分子之间的区别吗？

不知道吗？以色列也一样。
Do you know the difference between an aid worker and a terrorist?

No? Neither do Israel.---kimjongtrump

我还记得小女儿问我说，假如她养的仓鼠死了，我们会怎么做。我回答她说：“我们会把它放在一个盒子里，请你的朋友们过来，招待他们吃冰激凌还有零食，最后一起安葬小仓鼠。”

她问道：“那我们能现在就宰了这逼玩意儿吗？”
I remember when my youngest child asked me what would happen if her hamster died,
I said, "we will put him in a box , get all your friends around and have ice cream and treats then bury him. "

"Can we kill the little cunt now then?" She replied. --garygas

诺福克的青楼什么最棒？

有家庭折扣。
What is the best thing about prostitutes in Norfolk?

The family discount. --irishstoo

简直难以置信，就因为把工作带回家做，我被开除了。

话归正题，我无法继续展示验尸环节啦。
I can't believe I got fired for taking my work home with me.

Anyway, I won't be performing any more autopsies.--stallion