一些没品笑话

*本文通过个人喜好摘选翻译，原网址https://www.sickipedia.net/*

2023年9月10日，曾带领团队用成年体细胞克隆出第一只哺乳动物“小羊多莉”的伊恩·威尔穆特爵士去世了，终年79岁。
之后他在接受采访时说：“只是一个小小的不便罢了。”
Sir Ian Wilmut, the man who led the team that created Dolly the sheep, the first mammal to be cloned from an adult cell, has died aged 79.

'A minor inconvenience,' he told reporters later. ---niggerforage

在我老婆离开后，我既悲伤又孤独。

于是我养了只狗，买了辆新摩托车，上了俩妹子，又霍霍了一千块买毒品和酒。

她下班回家绝逼得特么疯了。

When my wife left, I was sad and lonely.

So I got a dog, a new motorbike, shagged 2 women and blew a grand on drugs and alcohol.

She's going to go fucking nuts when she gets back from work. ---microwave

广告商使用白人演员时，会有大量的白人顾客涌入店里购物。

而将演员换成少数族裔后，会有大量的黑人顾客涌入店里“零元购”。

When advertisers used white actors, they got loads of white customers buying their goods from the shops.

By switching to ethnic minorities they've persuaded hordes of blacks to rampage through them, shoplifting. ---scotty

BBC新闻：一名恐怖分子嫌疑人藏在货车底下成功越狱。

他当初应该也是这么来的英国。

BBC News: Terror suspect escapes prison by hiding under van

Probably how he got into Britain in the first place. ---motoverdi

美国人怎么从1数到10？

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,11。

How does an American count to ten?

One, two, three, four, five six, seven, eight, nine, eleven. ---theancient

菜谱和色情杂志有一个共同点：最好的几页总是黏在一起的。

The one thing cookbooks and porno mags have in common, is that the best pages are always stuck together. ---sage

我也不知道为什么那么多广告里都有黑人。
200年前就已经停售了啊！

I don't know why there are so many adverts with black people in them.
They stopped selling them 200 years ago.---Chalky

“如何区分巴勒斯坦平民和巴勒斯坦恐怖分子？”
“我不知道？”
“很好。欢迎加入以色列国防军。”

"What is the difference between a Palestinian civilian and a Palestinian terrorist?"
"I don't know?"
"Perfect. Welcome to the Israel Defense Force".--ernstarsefingerer

今天，我去尝了一家不错的路边快餐车……
米其林三胎果然名不虚传。

I went to a good roadside snack van today....

It was that good, it had 3 Michelin tyres--conkeydock

R
D
R
D
P
2
R
D
R
2
1
R
D
R
P
D
R
D
R
D
2
R
D
D
R
D
R
2
1
P
R
D
R
2
1
P
D
R
D
R
D
P
2
R
D
R
D
R
2
1
P
R
D
R
2
1
P
R
D
R
D
P
2
R
D
R
2
1
R
D
R
P
D
R
D
R
D
2
R
D
D
R
D
R
2
1
P
R
D
R
2
1
P
D
R
D
R
D
P
2
R
D
R
D
R
2
1
P
R
D
R
2
P

没什么，就是一个女司机在停她自动档的车。

R
D
R
D
P
2
R
D
R
2
1
R
D
R
P
D
R
D
R
D
2
R
D
D
R
D
R
2
1
P
R
D
R
2
1
P
D
R
D
R
D
P
2
R
D
R
D
R
2
1
P
R
D
R
2
1
P
R
D
R
D
P
2
R
D
R
2
1
R
D
R
P
D
R
D
R
D
2
R
D
D
R
D
R
2
1
P
R
D
R
2
1
P
D
R
D
R
D
P
2
R
D
R
D
R
2
1
P
R
D
R
2
P
Nothing special, just a woman parking an Automatic. --vapemansawanka

警方以涉嫌强奸逮捕了一名爱斯基摩人。

他们想知道他在9月至4月的晚上在干什么。

Police have arrested an Eskimo on suspicion of rape.

They want to know what he was doing on the night of September to April. --theancient

我不是想炫耀什么，可我这性别打出生之后就没变过。

Not trying to brag, but I've been the same gender since birth.. --innit

红酒只是酵母菌感染的葡萄汁。

Wine is just grape juice with a yeast infection. --blackdragon

我老婆到家后向我展示她的新纹身，纹的是我的名字。

她解释说：“这是个小保险，以免我要得了健忘症或是老年痴呆把你名字给忘了。”

“哎卧槽，”我说，“咱们还是快上医院吧，你这一个月已经纹了4回了。”

My missus got back home showing me her new tattoo of my name,

"It's in case I ever ger dementia or alzheimers and can't remember
your name, " she explained.

"Oh for fucks sake, " I replied, "lets get you to the doctors, that's the fourth one this month. " --kimjongtrump

由于我们不再使用塑料吸管，我只能徒手让海龟窒息了。

Since we can't use plastic straws anymore, i've just been choking turtles with my bare hands. --chunkyfunky