Geek
神人说天书[v]
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多年以前，洛克维尔公司拍摄某段说明性的视频之前，先拍了一段热身用的练习片，于是就出现了这样的一段神视频：这位讲述者没有拿笔记、没有预稿，纯粹是凭着一张嘴和脑子在即兴发挥。脸上带着如此认真严肃的表情却流利地说着没人听的懂的天书……他已经超神了！
全文如下，召唤翻译帝前来解读：
For a number of years now work has been proceding in order to bring to the crudely conceived idea of a transmission that would not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automaticaly synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such an instrument is the turbo encabulator.
Now basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motions of conductors and fluxes, it is produced by the modial interaction of magnetoreluctance and capacitive directance.
The original machine had a baseplate of prefabulated Amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with the pentametric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzel vanes so-fitted to the ambifacient lunar wane shaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented.
The main winding was of the normal lotus-o-delta type placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots in the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a nonreversible trem'e pipe to the differential girdlespring on the up-end of the grammeters.
The Turbo Encabulator has now reached a high level of develement, and is being successfully used in the operation of nofer trunnions. Moreover, whenever a barescent skor motion is required, it may be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusodial depleneration.
有人评论道：
“嗯嗯，对，没错，不过这玩意能搅得碎么(Will it blend)？”
update: 附上 loskit 同学的蛋疼友情汉化
最近的几年里，我们一直在努力的尝试想要实现一个比较粗糙的想法。我们想要设计一种装置，它不光是可以用来供应逆向反应电流，以便在单相衰减器中使用，同时还可以自动的同步主克计。我们将这个装置称为加速型□流器。
基本上到目前，这项设计只提出了一个新的原则，那就是电能不再是由导管和向量的相对运动产生的，而是由磁阻和电容向质的互相□动而产生的。
我们最初设计的装置使用了一块预制的屙金属基板，四周包裹着具有韧性的对数性外罩，并且在安装时将两个媾和的承座与一个五分制风扇排列呈一条直线。这个简单的五分制风扇由六个水润式火星石英扇叶组成，这些扇叶恰好适合安装在阴性环境衰减轴上，这样一来就可以有效的避免偏摸现象。
主线圈就是一个基本的露脱斯德尔塔型，它被安装在定子的泛皮下半曲面插槽中。在每七个以不可逆型颤管连接在克计顶端的差异性腰部发条的导管上，你都可以找到这样的一个插槽。
目前，我们的加速型□流器研究已经达到了前所未有的高度。它已经成功的被应用在压印机的耳轴里了。另外，如果你需要进行一次无遮蔽式的拉扯运动，你也可以将它与一个已抻出的往复抖动式机械臂协同工作，来减轻正弦曲线衰减。